Attachment Parenting In A Disconnected Culture.

Over 15 beautiful months of holding, cuddling, breastfeeding, and building a relationship with my baby. Being a new mother in this society was a huge eye opener for me.

I’ve learned over the last 15 months just how far disconnected our culture is from what’s biologically healthy and normal, for all of us. I learned this from the unhealthy messages this culture tells us about parenting.

I’ve always wondered why we live in a generation of so many hurting people. Why so many adults are simply floating through life with so much pain and mental illness. I’ve found some of my answers to this (although this is a very complex problem).

One reason is a culture that praises disconnection and early independence at the very root. A culture that fears parents into thinking they need to “teach” skills such as early independence and separation.

Deeply rooted dependence, responsiveness, and healthy strong relationships with a trusted caregiver, eventually creates a safe space to explore independence later in life.

 

The Problem:

When we are “taught” to be independent at such a young age, taught our emotions are too big or unacceptable: we are actually taught to repress our true emotion, we are taught that no one is coming to save us, that we don’t have a safe place - this creates coping mechanisms to protect ourselves and increased cortisol, a stress hormone. Always being on guard alerts our “fight or flight” response. We end up living in a constant state of survival mode from these early messages at such a young age. Being in this constant state of survival-mode can lead to many mental and physical illnesses. 

 

What I Have Learned:

If we tune out what our disconnected culture try’s to fear us into believing and really tune into our instincts:

🌸 You’ll realize everything you need to know is deeply rooted ~

🌸 Tune out the noise and tune into you and your baby ~

🌸 Mama, your feelings are valid. Your deep need to respond to your baby is not negative anxiety, that is your INSTINCTS. 

🌸 You not wanting to separate from your baby is valid. You’re allowed to do things differently ~ you’re allowed to do what you feel is best.

 

I’m going to continue tuning out the dysfunctional noise I hear, Breaking dysfunctional generational cycles, and continue holding, loving, and nurturing my child the way I feel will allow her to bloom.

Generations of deeply ill people and mentally hurting adults can be changed. We can stop this pain from floating down the family line any longer. It starts with us. We must acknowledge our own pain and the dysfunction that has been past down. Then be open to learning new, healthier ways of supporting ourselves and our children's mental and physical health.

 

Please comment below what was something you were told postpartum that didn’t feel right to you? Did anyone try to tell you to be less responsive or that you were “creating bad habits” by simply listening to your instincts? 

Trust yourself mama💛💫

Yours in health,

Carlie